Here are some fun playtime ideas that aren't too intense for a beginner but still exciting enough for more seasoned kinksters. These lovely tidbits have been collected from various sites and submitted by friends, and put nice and neat all in one place for you. You're welcome.
Sensation play
You probably use sensation play in your regular sexual activities and don't even realize it. How many times have you had her leave her stockings on, simply because you love the way they feel? Or stroked his cock with your silky panties?
You can use sensation play in D/s scenes too! Start by blindfolding your partner (and tying him or her down, if you like), then subjecting him or her to a wide variety of different sensations. For example, you may stroke your lover's body with ice, or drip hot wax on his or her body, or caress your lover's skin with soft fur, silk scarves, felt, feathers, coarse sandpaper (but gently!), anything with texture.
Human Sex Doll
This is a good way to explore your partner and dabble in D/s. The idea is simple: the submissive partner is a living sex toy, and allows the dominant to put him or her into any position and do anything they want. The submissive partner simply remains in whatever position the dominant places him or her into, and does not take an active role as the dominant explores the submissive. Pay attention to the reactions as you explore. This is a great way to really learn your partner's body and see what makes them tick.
A similar scenario to this is :
The Prize
In this scenario, the submissive is a dancer at an "anything goes" nightclub. As a special promotion, the club has sponsored a drawing; the winner of the drawing gets full and complete use of the stripper for an evening, and the stripper must allow the winner to do whatever he or she wants. The winner takes full advantage of the prize, using the stripper as a sex toy; the stripper must be completely obedient and allow the winner to do whatever the winner wishes, regardless of how the stripper feels about it.
Choose Your Adventure
This is a fun and devious technique that can make use of any of the other ideas here, and anything else you can think of. Make a list, without showing it to your partner, of questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no" or with multiple choice answers. Then ask your partner to answer each question, without telling your partner what the questions are. For example, you might write down a list of questions such as "Will you be tied down?", "Will you be allowed to reach orgasm?", "Will I penetrate you anally, orally, or vaginally?", "Will you be spanked?", or whatever else strikes your fancy.
Don't let your partner see the list. Ask your partner, "Choose 1, 2, or 3," and "Choose yes or no." Write down your partner's answers, then do to your partner whatever their answers indicate. If your partner complains, you can always say "Hey, this is what you chose!"
Orgasm Denial
This is a fun, and frustrating, technique that can bring some of the spark back into sex. There are a hundred variations, but the basic idea is simple: prevent your partner from having an orgasm for a length of time (a day, two days, a week, whatever you want). You can, for example, require that your partner have sex one or more times a day, or masturbate regularly (maybe roll a pair of dice to see how many times they have to "edge" each day) but your partner is not allowed any sexual release. Over time, the sexual tension builds up, and your partner becomes perpetually aroused.
When done over a period of several days or longer, this technique creates a very powerful level of sexual excitement. When you do finally allow your partner release, it's an extremely intense experience. Some of my subs have described it as "their minds leaving their bodies".
Home Invasion (roleplay for men to use on women)
Call your girl. Tell her you've heard that there are burglars in her neighborhood. They tie these women up, ransack their bedrooms, then have their way with their helpless victims. Talk in a sexy voice... to build anticipation and of course, because you don't want to scare the shit out of her. Wait long enough that she totally expecting it and obviously, you go over to her place wearing a burglar costume: Black shirt, black pants, leather gloves, a mask of some kind. Open the door. Tiptoe around until you find your lady, hopefully dressed to please you. You could play "chloroform" her by holding a handkerchief soaked in cheap cologne lightly over her nose and mouth for a few seconds; Or, she could obligingly faint at the very sight of you. Or you can simply seize her in your strong, manly arms. The result is the same: She gets bound and gagged in her bedroom, where she must sit / lie helplessly while you go through her dresser drawers, take her costume jewelry, rummage in her purse, and generally violate her space. Then you can violate her. After you've taken everything of value, you leave her tied up and go. (NOTE! Do NOT go out any doors that lock, period! Do NOT leave the house!!! ) Wait a few minutes. Put on a different shirt, and take off the mask. Then go back into the bedroom with "OMG! What happened!!" Untie her, take her in your arms, comfort her an any way she may desire. See how many fun ways she can show her gratitude for being rescued.
DON'T FORGET YOUR SAFE WORDS!
Dirty Doctor (roleplay)
This is a favorite of mine that can be done on both male and female submissives. In this game, the Dominant is the evil doctor, and the submissive is his/her helpless patient. The doctor (who for effect can be wearing rubber gloves, and if you have cash, a cheap doctor's costume) has the subject tied to his examining table, and can perform all manner of experiments on them. The Dom/me could probe the sub in various places using any one of a number of suitable laboratory instruments (this is where you break out the sex toys). Perhaps S/He might put clothespins on their nipples, to see how they respond to compression. Maybe they'll want to experiment to see how long the sub can be stimulated without being allowed to climax. The dirty doc could keep his/her sub there through the long hours of the night, conducting endless experiments to find out how many times s/he can climax, or how large a probe s/he can accept, or how deeply s/he can be penetrated, ho hard he can get, how wet she can get... you can note your results in their medical "chart" (I use a clipboard, a plain old notebook is fine too) and save it. When you play again, it's fun to see the results change!
Write on the body
This can be fun as it adds a little sense of degradation to your playtime. You can write dirty words (such as writing "slut" or "fucktoy" across your partner's chest), or write short descriptions of what you plan to do to your partner just before you do it. You can take this a step further; go out to eat, send your partner into the restroom with a marker and tell your partner to strip, write dirty words on his or her own body, masturbate to orgasm, and come back out. Or in the morning, you can write things like "property of (your name)", "slut", "owned" on the submissive's chest, then send him or her to work that way.
Welcome Home
This is a great start to sexy evening, and practice D/s at the same time. When the submissive is away, perhaps at work or at the store, take a brown paper bag and place a set of restraints (wrist cuffs, or the like), or a blindfold, or both, in it. Maybe a certain piece of lingerie that you want them to wear would be fun too. Set the paper bag near the bedroom door (or on the porch, inside the front door, anywhere it will definitely be seen!), and tape a sheet of paper with instructions on it on the door. The sheet should instruct the submissive to strip completely, open the bag, and put on the restraints/cuffs/blindfold, or to dress in the outfit, before opening the door. The submissive is not allowed through the door until he or she is properly prepared. The anticipation heightens arousal, as well as practicing the Dom/sub mindset of control and following orders.
Showing posts with label play. Show all posts
Showing posts with label play. Show all posts
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Knowing the Ropes part 1 - Bondage Safety
I would like to talk a little bit about the most common form of bdsm play, bondage. This is the one that all the newbie kinksters want to jump right into, with no knowledge of safety procedures and precautions. It's not just wrapping someone in rope, people! For that reason I would like to discuss a little bit about bondage safety for those who are curious about engaging in this fun and erotic activity.
Basic Safety (or "Common Sense is Not So Common")
First and foremost - KNOW YOUR PARTNER! We tell our children, "Never talk to strangers." We kinky adults should follow the simple rule "Never play with strangers." Please do not just pick up someone online who wants to tie you, you don't know who this person is. Do you really want to be completely helpless and at the mercy of a TOTAL STRANGER?! You're liable to end up killed. KNOW YOUR PARTNER! Discuss safe words, safe calls, and limits LONG BEFORE you engage in playtime. If it is someone you only know online or have only known in real life for a short period of time, MAKE THAT SAFE CALL! (A safe call is a phone call to a trusted friend or relative telling them where you are, what you are planning on doing, and when you are expected to leave. If you are suddenly not heard from again, they know where to look.)
Subs, if you have any MEDICAL CONDITIONS, discuss them with your Dominant partner. Dom/mes, make sure to ask your submissive play partners if they have any medical conditions. This can be asthma, heart problems, high or low blood sugar, bone or joint injuries, circulation problems, anxiety, panic disorder, anything can can be adversely affected by this kind of play. It is a wise idea to have a MEDICAL RELEASE signed saying "In the event of an emergency, (insert name) has permission to obtain medical care for me" with a copy of your ID in a sealed envelope and available to your Dominant at all times. Dom/mes, you should know where this information is located at all times.
Please remember - PLAY SOBER, PLAY SAFE. Never, EVER engage in BDSM play while you or your partner are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Not one beer, not one toke. Not one. Your judgment is impaired, your sensory and pain receptors are impaired. Don't do it. Just don't.
They're tied, they're bound, they're helpless. Now is time to PAY ATTENTION! Check the extremities frequently for signs of loss of circulation. Check the color. Purple is bad. Feel them with your own hands. They should not be cold to the touch. If you can't slip a single finger between the ropes and their skin, the ropes are too tight.
STAY WITH THEM! Never leave a bound person alone. For role-playing, the bound and abandoned victim bit, sure, that's fun. You can leave the room, but keep an ear on them. Use a baby monitor. NEVER EVER leave the house. What if there is a fire? What if there is a break-in? What if they start freaking out and asphyxiating? This is not to be taken lightly.
Communication is key. If your bound sub says the ropes are too tight, their hands are numb, they have shooting pains, they are freaking out... LISTEN TO THEM. Cut them loose IMMEDIATELY.
And where are your safety shears? They need to be at ARM'S LENGTH at ALL TIMES!!! Not across the room, not upstairs, not in the toybag. ARM'S REACH. Or even better, tucked in your boot, or holstered in your toolbelt if you wear one. I STRONGLY recommend EMT safety shears, they are blunt on one side to slide under the ropes without piercing the skin, and they are sharp enough to cut through sailing rope.
ALWAYS BE SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL!!! It's a matter of life or death.
Know your knots before playing. This is not the time for trial and error. Some knots slip or pinch and can cause problems! Stay tuned for my bondage knot tutorials.
Basic Safety (or "Common Sense is Not So Common")
First and foremost - KNOW YOUR PARTNER! We tell our children, "Never talk to strangers." We kinky adults should follow the simple rule "Never play with strangers." Please do not just pick up someone online who wants to tie you, you don't know who this person is. Do you really want to be completely helpless and at the mercy of a TOTAL STRANGER?! You're liable to end up killed. KNOW YOUR PARTNER! Discuss safe words, safe calls, and limits LONG BEFORE you engage in playtime. If it is someone you only know online or have only known in real life for a short period of time, MAKE THAT SAFE CALL! (A safe call is a phone call to a trusted friend or relative telling them where you are, what you are planning on doing, and when you are expected to leave. If you are suddenly not heard from again, they know where to look.)
Subs, if you have any MEDICAL CONDITIONS, discuss them with your Dominant partner. Dom/mes, make sure to ask your submissive play partners if they have any medical conditions. This can be asthma, heart problems, high or low blood sugar, bone or joint injuries, circulation problems, anxiety, panic disorder, anything can can be adversely affected by this kind of play. It is a wise idea to have a MEDICAL RELEASE signed saying "In the event of an emergency, (insert name) has permission to obtain medical care for me" with a copy of your ID in a sealed envelope and available to your Dominant at all times. Dom/mes, you should know where this information is located at all times.
Please remember - PLAY SOBER, PLAY SAFE. Never, EVER engage in BDSM play while you or your partner are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Not one beer, not one toke. Not one. Your judgment is impaired, your sensory and pain receptors are impaired. Don't do it. Just don't.
They're tied, they're bound, they're helpless. Now is time to PAY ATTENTION! Check the extremities frequently for signs of loss of circulation. Check the color. Purple is bad. Feel them with your own hands. They should not be cold to the touch. If you can't slip a single finger between the ropes and their skin, the ropes are too tight.
STAY WITH THEM! Never leave a bound person alone. For role-playing, the bound and abandoned victim bit, sure, that's fun. You can leave the room, but keep an ear on them. Use a baby monitor. NEVER EVER leave the house. What if there is a fire? What if there is a break-in? What if they start freaking out and asphyxiating? This is not to be taken lightly.
Communication is key. If your bound sub says the ropes are too tight, their hands are numb, they have shooting pains, they are freaking out... LISTEN TO THEM. Cut them loose IMMEDIATELY.
And where are your safety shears? They need to be at ARM'S LENGTH at ALL TIMES!!! Not across the room, not upstairs, not in the toybag. ARM'S REACH. Or even better, tucked in your boot, or holstered in your toolbelt if you wear one. I STRONGLY recommend EMT safety shears, they are blunt on one side to slide under the ropes without piercing the skin, and they are sharp enough to cut through sailing rope.
ALWAYS BE SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL!!! It's a matter of life or death.
Know your knots before playing. This is not the time for trial and error. Some knots slip or pinch and can cause problems! Stay tuned for my bondage knot tutorials.
Monday, March 21, 2011
The Screamer
I had a play date today with a friend of mine from a couple counties away. He drove a long way to see me, and I wanted to make sure it was worth his while. He is a masochist, or as I say, a pain whore. He like-a da pain, and as a sadist, I like-a da giving of pain.
I should probably start by saying how much I love this man. He was my first kinky friend in the area and from the very beginning was always very sweet and kind to me. I have been wanting to see him for months, and since I quit the group where we met, it was difficult to schedule time with someone who lived so far away. We usually saw each other at munches and other public gatherings, so our interaction is limited to friendly chatting and occasionally, sneaking a nipple twist or a dragging of my nails on his back when no one is looking.
I did have the opportunity to play with him at a private party a few months ago, but I didn't do my best work. I need the private, uninterrupted exchange of energy. Though we both thoroughly enjoyed the scene, I knew that getting him alone was the only way to give him a real taste of the intensity that is Lady Julianna.
So we made a date, which was today, and I was so excited last night I barely slept. Like a kid on Christmas eve, I swear. I was up late and woke up early in time to make myself beautiful and prepare myself for scening, which includes food and caffeine and nicotine and a little meditation. He arrived right on time, just as houseboy was lacing my corset. I wore a gorgeous brocade underbust corset with a black lace bra and a long, flowing lace skirt. Houseboy prepared the dungeon while my friend, my hubby and I chatted upstairs. I was eager to play, but wanted my sub to be comfortable and relaxed in my home. So we chatted and joked and talked about this and that, everyone seemed happy and content, and we headed down to the dungeon.
He doesn't wear cuffs, doesn't even own a pair, and I was surprised to find out that in all his years in the lifestyle, he has never worn a pair of cuffs. Ever. He has manacles... steel manacles for his wrists and ankles and a locking matching collar... and chain. Lots and lots of chains. Fucking HOT! I strung him up and had at him. Double flogging, paddling, whipping, pinching, clamping, nipple torture, cbt, I pulled out all the stops. The cane, the crop, the pinwheel, every toy got used this afternoon. I even made a human harp out of him! Let me tell you, there is something about a screamer. Mmmmm yes he is a SCREAMER! A writhing, squirming, shrieking mass of submissive lust. I could barely hear the sounds of the impact amidst the cries of "yes! no! oh god no! you evil bitch! I love you! fuck! shit! oh god noooooo!" I was so erotically charged by it, my panties were soaked and wetness was starting to run down my thighs. I worked cautiously and carefully, reading his body and bringing him to the edge of subspace over and over again and gently bringing him back down. Brutal paddlings and whippings sandwiched between sensual stroking, touching and kissing. When I finally got him over the edge, I unchained him and walked him to the couch, snuggling under a blanket to keep away the chills. We idly stroked and touched each other in the afterglow, my bra had long since been removed and tossed aside to combat the sweating that comes with that surge of adrenaline. We spent a good long time loving on each other until I was very comfortable and very satisfied. We snuggled for so long I told him if I got too comfortable I might not be able to get back in "mode"... so back in action I went, spanking and torturing him, even penetrating him and sitting on his face as he writhed in agony on my dungeon floor. I love that... administering that delicious pain and ohhhh the look in his eyes, sheer horror crossed with pure lust and utter adoration. This is what I live for. That look right there. It took him a while to "come down"... he was flying for a long time. I knew I had done my job well.
I should probably start by saying how much I love this man. He was my first kinky friend in the area and from the very beginning was always very sweet and kind to me. I have been wanting to see him for months, and since I quit the group where we met, it was difficult to schedule time with someone who lived so far away. We usually saw each other at munches and other public gatherings, so our interaction is limited to friendly chatting and occasionally, sneaking a nipple twist or a dragging of my nails on his back when no one is looking.
I did have the opportunity to play with him at a private party a few months ago, but I didn't do my best work. I need the private, uninterrupted exchange of energy. Though we both thoroughly enjoyed the scene, I knew that getting him alone was the only way to give him a real taste of the intensity that is Lady Julianna.
So we made a date, which was today, and I was so excited last night I barely slept. Like a kid on Christmas eve, I swear. I was up late and woke up early in time to make myself beautiful and prepare myself for scening, which includes food and caffeine and nicotine and a little meditation. He arrived right on time, just as houseboy was lacing my corset. I wore a gorgeous brocade underbust corset with a black lace bra and a long, flowing lace skirt. Houseboy prepared the dungeon while my friend, my hubby and I chatted upstairs. I was eager to play, but wanted my sub to be comfortable and relaxed in my home. So we chatted and joked and talked about this and that, everyone seemed happy and content, and we headed down to the dungeon.
He doesn't wear cuffs, doesn't even own a pair, and I was surprised to find out that in all his years in the lifestyle, he has never worn a pair of cuffs. Ever. He has manacles... steel manacles for his wrists and ankles and a locking matching collar... and chain. Lots and lots of chains. Fucking HOT! I strung him up and had at him. Double flogging, paddling, whipping, pinching, clamping, nipple torture, cbt, I pulled out all the stops. The cane, the crop, the pinwheel, every toy got used this afternoon. I even made a human harp out of him! Let me tell you, there is something about a screamer. Mmmmm yes he is a SCREAMER! A writhing, squirming, shrieking mass of submissive lust. I could barely hear the sounds of the impact amidst the cries of "yes! no! oh god no! you evil bitch! I love you! fuck! shit! oh god noooooo!" I was so erotically charged by it, my panties were soaked and wetness was starting to run down my thighs. I worked cautiously and carefully, reading his body and bringing him to the edge of subspace over and over again and gently bringing him back down. Brutal paddlings and whippings sandwiched between sensual stroking, touching and kissing. When I finally got him over the edge, I unchained him and walked him to the couch, snuggling under a blanket to keep away the chills. We idly stroked and touched each other in the afterglow, my bra had long since been removed and tossed aside to combat the sweating that comes with that surge of adrenaline. We spent a good long time loving on each other until I was very comfortable and very satisfied. We snuggled for so long I told him if I got too comfortable I might not be able to get back in "mode"... so back in action I went, spanking and torturing him, even penetrating him and sitting on his face as he writhed in agony on my dungeon floor. I love that... administering that delicious pain and ohhhh the look in his eyes, sheer horror crossed with pure lust and utter adoration. This is what I live for. That look right there. It took him a while to "come down"... he was flying for a long time. I knew I had done my job well.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
A Note From a Submissive
Here I have posted a note written to me by a wonderful submissive friend of mine after we scened together at a play party. I had joked to him that I wondered who was in more pain, him or me. This was his reply.
My dear Julianna-I certainly hope I am the only one in pain. I would be mortified if our session caused you anything but enjoyment. If that is the case please accept my apologies. I have honestly been enjoying the many "gifts" you gave me Saturday night. If I could have remembered the quote about the check I just wrote that I would never cash or something like that, I would have posted it. All I know is that when you said it I got chills and knew that I had gone too far. You rightly taught me a lesson. That incident increased my respect for you so much. Your skills as a top and a sadist are worthy of great respect and it truly was a privilege to bottom for you. It was wonderful hanging there, looking deep into your eyes, not knowing if I was going to be kissed, beaten, rubbed, or bit; yet knowing that whatever was coming would be exactly what I needed. Your aftercare was great, you took such good care of me. Your attention is a gift beyond compare. Your friendship is a treasure! I so look forward to partnering with you again. and again and again.
My dear Julianna-I certainly hope I am the only one in pain. I would be mortified if our session caused you anything but enjoyment. If that is the case please accept my apologies. I have honestly been enjoying the many "gifts" you gave me Saturday night. If I could have remembered the quote about the check I just wrote that I would never cash or something like that, I would have posted it. All I know is that when you said it I got chills and knew that I had gone too far. You rightly taught me a lesson. That incident increased my respect for you so much. Your skills as a top and a sadist are worthy of great respect and it truly was a privilege to bottom for you. It was wonderful hanging there, looking deep into your eyes, not knowing if I was going to be kissed, beaten, rubbed, or bit; yet knowing that whatever was coming would be exactly what I needed. Your aftercare was great, you took such good care of me. Your attention is a gift beyond compare. Your friendship is a treasure! I so look forward to partnering with you again. and again and again.
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