Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Knowing the Ropes part 1 - Bondage Safety

I would like to talk a little bit about the most common form of bdsm play, bondage. This is the one that all the newbie kinksters want to jump right into, with no knowledge of safety procedures and precautions. It's not just wrapping someone in rope, people! For that reason I would like to discuss a little bit about bondage safety for those who are curious about engaging in this fun and erotic activity.


Basic Safety (or "Common Sense is Not So Common")

First and foremost - KNOW YOUR PARTNER! We tell our children, "Never talk to strangers." We kinky adults should follow the simple rule "Never play with strangers." Please do not just pick up someone online who wants to tie you, you don't know who this person is. Do you really want to be completely helpless and at the mercy of a TOTAL STRANGER?! You're liable to end up killed. KNOW YOUR PARTNER! Discuss safe words, safe calls, and limits LONG BEFORE you engage in playtime. If it is someone you only know online or have only known in real life for a short period of time, MAKE THAT SAFE CALL! (A safe call is a phone call to a trusted friend or relative telling them where you are, what you are planning on doing, and when you are expected to leave. If you are suddenly not heard from again, they know where to look.)

Subs, if you have any MEDICAL CONDITIONS, discuss them with your Dominant partner. Dom/mes, make sure to ask your submissive play partners if they have any medical conditions. This can be asthma, heart problems, high or low blood sugar, bone or joint injuries, circulation problems, anxiety, panic disorder, anything can can be adversely affected by this kind of play. It is a wise idea to have a MEDICAL RELEASE signed saying "In the event of an emergency, (insert name) has permission to obtain medical care for me" with a copy of your ID in a sealed envelope and available to your Dominant at all times. Dom/mes, you should know where this information is located at all times.

Please remember - PLAY SOBER, PLAY SAFE. Never, EVER engage in BDSM play while you or your partner are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Not one beer, not one toke. Not one. Your judgment is impaired, your sensory and pain receptors are impaired. Don't do it. Just don't.

They're tied, they're bound, they're helpless. Now is time to PAY ATTENTION! Check the extremities frequently for signs of  loss of circulation. Check the color. Purple is bad. Feel them with your own hands. They should not be cold to the touch. If you can't slip a single finger between the ropes and their skin, the ropes are too tight.


STAY WITH THEM! Never leave a bound person alone. For role-playing, the bound and abandoned victim bit, sure, that's fun. You can leave the room, but keep an ear on them. Use a baby monitor. NEVER EVER leave the house. What if there is a fire? What if there is a break-in? What if they start freaking out and asphyxiating? This is not to be taken lightly.

Communication is key. If your bound sub says the ropes are too tight, their hands are numb, they have shooting pains, they are freaking out... LISTEN TO THEM. Cut them loose IMMEDIATELY.

And where are your safety shears? They need to be at ARM'S LENGTH at ALL TIMES!!! Not across the room, not upstairs, not in the toybag. ARM'S REACH. Or even better, tucked in your boot, or holstered in your toolbelt if you wear one. I STRONGLY recommend EMT safety shears, they are blunt on one side to slide under the ropes without piercing the skin, and they are sharp enough to cut through sailing rope.



ALWAYS BE SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL!!! It's a matter of life or death.

Know your knots before playing. This is not the time for trial and error. Some knots slip or pinch and can cause problems! Stay tuned for my bondage knot tutorials.

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