Thursday, November 18, 2010

Harder Than It Looks

Some of my vanilla friends have said things to me along the lines of "Oh, wow, you must have it so easy!" and "Awesome, you have slaves, you never have to do anything!"

Excuse me? Are you fucking kidding me?

Okay, sure I haven't washed a dish in as long as I can remember. Yes, I can get a foot/back/body rub whenever I want. It's just that there is SO much more to it than that. There is interviewing, background checks, references, inspection, training, punishment, play, nurturing, scheduling. Do you have any idea how hard it is to nurture several relationships at the same time? It's quite a challenge. I have to look out for my subs. I have to ensure their safety when they are in service to me. I have to read their bodies during playtime. My live-in slave, it's almost like having a child. Not in a bad way like he drives me crazy, but I have to look out for his health, his safety, make sure he has the things he needs, make sure he eats right. I have to work with them and grow with on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level to truly help them grow both as a submissive and a person in general.

I have files. I have to keep FILES on my submissives so I can keep track of who is who and what is what. Each one has his own limits, his own dreams, his own feelings, his own place in my little puzzle that I call life. What's good for one is not good for another. I have to remember that so-and-so likes this but so-and-so vetoes it. I have to keep track of when so-and-so's last release was, how long so-and-so has been in chastity and so on and so on and so on. I have to update their files regularly as their limits change. I have to make out chore schedules, play schedules, find quality time to spend with each of them.

Here they say, "But you are the Mistress, what they want doesn't matter." Ha. HAHAHA! Ohhh but it DOES. So much. I try my slaves' limits, I push their limits, but I would never, EVER cross their limits. It is my DUTY as a Dominant to respect and care for each submissive as an individual. They aren't animals (though sometimes I like to pretend they are). Happy slaves want to serve. They want to come back to Me. If I have a submissive over for service and play, and I treat him like total crap, he isn't going to want to come back. Then what kind of Mistress would I be? Not a very good one, I'd say. 

Playtime is a whole separate issue. "How hard is it to swing a paddle?" my vanilla friends ask. Let me tell you, I have come out of play sessions where I wonder who is in more pain, my sub or myself. No, it's not hard to swing a paddle. It IS, however, hard to swing a paddle for an hour and a half. Not to mention strutting around in stilettos all day. Good lord. Plus, scenes can get stale. We can't have the same thing over and over. I have to be creative and clever to think of new and exciting activities for a play scene.I have to watch them closely for signs of trauma too. I have to make sure they don't lose circulation during bondage, make sure I don't accidentally break their skin with my whip, make sure, make sure, make sure.

Ultimately, a Domme's work is NEVER done. 
But I will tell you, I love every minute of it. 

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