Tuesday, March 29, 2011
How Hard Is It To Wait, Point, and Shoot?
So I spent almost an hour painting my body for pictures, which might I add, is VERY difficult to do in a mirror. It looked cute too, swirly green vines up my arms and across my torso, a big flower over my right breast, curly-cues and leaves... all just very, very pretty. So I put on a flowy rainbow skirt, load up the troops (that would be, my husband and the slave) and walk out back for some fun, hippie-esque nature shots. I got all my poses perfected in the mirror, so I was ready and excited! It was like two fucking degrees outside. We took 45 shots. Not a SINGLE FUCKING ONE was any good. REALLY?? You can't wait until my mouth is closed and my face isn't distorted like I smell dog shit? You didn't notice the seam in the front of my skirt? You didn't SEE the tire in the woods behind me? What the FUCK?!!! WHAT... THE.... FUCK!!!!! HOW HARD IS IT? You look at the screen, if it looks good, you push the button!!! You check your background, your subject, and you make sure no heads are cut off. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT? Anyone in upstate NY who wants to take pictures of a damn-near naked lady, there is a 6 pack of beer in it for you. Leave me a message. Fuck. End rant.