I Am Not Your Mistress!

I get over 100 emails a week. I am on several popular bdsm social networking sites, and the little subbie boys just can't wait to get some domination. I have my yahoo chat active on my blog, and links are posted on social sites. I get a lot of IM's. I find it amusing when someone I have never spoken to addresses me as "Mistress". Um... I am not your Mistress. That's like calling some random person your wife.
"Hello, Mistress. I am looking for a beautiful, strong, confident, powerful woman such as yourself to use and abuse me to your liking. I wish only to please you, Mistress, and I will do anything to make you happy."
"Dear Mistress, I read your blog and I was wondering if you were looking for another miserable slave like myself to join your stable" 
Me: "Unless I have collared you, I prefer you not call me Mistress. Julianna is fine."
Idiot: "Yes, Mistress Julianna. anything to please you"
Me: "I am not your Mistress."
Idiot: "Yes, um, what would you like from a miserable slave such as myself? Anything that pleases you, Ma'am"
Me: "I am into bondage, impact and sensual play, human equine, humiliation, munches, parties and other local events"
Idiot: "I don't like pain and stuff."
Me: "What parts of bdsm interest you?"
Idiot: "I will do anything to please you. I love to eat a woman out for hours and hours until she is satisfied. Your pics make me so horny."
Me: "My D/s relations are for the most part, non-sexual."
Idiot: "Yes, Mistress, I understand it's not all about sex"
Me:  "What are your limits?"
Idiot: "I have no limits"
Me: "Really? Then I can cut slits in your body with a knife and rub shit in them?"
Idiot: "No!!"
Me: "Well? What are your limits?"
Idiot: "Not being allowed to please you. I only want to please you. Can I see some more pics of you?"
Me: "I think you might consider a casual encounters ad or even an escort. I think you are getting "Domme" confused with "fucktoy". It seems like that would be more what you are looking for. I am a real Domme. Not a showgirl."
Idiot:  "I am a bad boy, Mistress, and I need to be punished."
Me: "You don't like pain, and don't call me Mistress. Julianna, or even Ma'am is just fine."
Idiot: "Punish me by making me service you orally, Mistress. Make me your pussy-eating slave"
Me: "Dude. I. Am. Not. Your. Mistress. I will not have sex with you. I will no longer talk with you. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you deleted and blocked. You may now kiss my ass."